A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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Black Veil Brides.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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There's no "i" in tim.

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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