how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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My mom.

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

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knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

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I am not racist, racism is a crime! Crime is for black people.

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Dude? What. Dude? What! Wheres my car?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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Q: What is so funny about a dog chasing his tail? A: The dog cannot figue out that it his own tail, and every time he moves so does the tail. Therefore never reaching a satisfying end for the mentaly chalanged mutt.

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S.O.P.A

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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