Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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What did santa claus say when he saw a girl standing on the corner? Ho Ho Ho... ;)

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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Why was Superman white? Because Jerry Siegel is a racist.

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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What did Sarah Palin say to her daughter on Christmas? Merry Christmas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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