What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

What do you call 10,000 lawers jumping out of a plane? A good start.

Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...