What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

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Paul Dylan King!

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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Doorbell salesman.

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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A man entered into a house, because it hadn't any door.

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What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Not being retarded. - Blake Woodman

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whats the difference between a joke and the holocaust? ...There both funny..Exept for the Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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