Roses are red Violets are Blue Little Timmy died yesterday

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender asks "What'd you want?" the duck responds "A miller lite please" promptly after that the bartender was tested for mental insanity because he thinks ducks can talk.

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Roses are black, violets are black, i am blind!

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a man walked out of church and said F***!

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours? Put on an entertaining movie.

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Q: What do you call a Mexican who gets his car stolen. A: Pablo

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Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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What was the biggest party of 2010? The Democrats.

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Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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You're so gay you actively seek homosexuals relationships.

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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What did the patient say when the doctor told him he had aids? "Oh my god. Are you sure?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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Q: what is man without a beard A:not a man

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Swiggity Swooty. I'm currently in pursuit for that part of your body people refer to as "booty".

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JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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