Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Like this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +9

"Up to 50% off."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What iz stupid? Hibiyav

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Want to see a funny movie? -Watch Schindler's List

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's up? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops