What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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What do you call a pregnant 8-year old? A poor reflection on our society

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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A: Knock knock! A: Who's there? A: Forever A: Forever who? A: Forever Alone

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

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A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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