A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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What did the wise old widow across the street get for Hanukkah? Cardiac Arrest.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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i hate you.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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