two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he fell off his bike.

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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Vagina-Boob

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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Hitler was Jewish.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

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Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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