- Anti Joke

What is worse than being blind? Having a brain tumour.

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

Q: What's the point? A: .

Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers have no feelings.

Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

Q: What did the anorexic girl do for thanksgiving? A: Nothing, she was paralyzed from a fall 2 days prior and nobody had found her yet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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