GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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ruddell and dodds anal

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whats worse than the halocaust? disney channel.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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what did the cancer patient get for christmas. -an amputation. Luckily, he was cured of cancer due to the amputation, but died 3 days later in a tragic car accident

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What did you say? I don't know.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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