What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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Why did the manager fire his black employee? Because he was stealing office supplies. Why was he stealing office supplies? Because he needed the money for his family. Why did he need that money? Because he wasn't being paid his full wage. Why wasn't he being paid full wage? Because his employer was a racist. Upon this analysis, the state of California ruled the case of Jones vs. Smith in favour of Mr. Jones, and ordered Mr. Smith to give Mr. Jones a cash settlement of $500,000. However, Mr. Jones was still convicted with a single charge of petty theft and was sentenced to six months in prison. His family was still awarded the settlement of $500,000. Mr. Jones made parole three months early for being an "idol inmate."

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What's hard and straight going in, and soft and sticky coming out? chewing gum

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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What do you call two gay men playfully wrestling? Immature.

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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LOOP IN ARE FOR TOYUIL!!!!! HAR HAR HAR!!!!!!!! MOY SAY UHJIN LAK WAQUI SAMPA!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOL IT IS SO FUNNY TO JOKE ABOUT!

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

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When practicing the art of origami and the berrilium dialates, how many quince pies does it take to calculate a tree? Tricycle

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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How do magnets work?

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

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What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple being murdered

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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