Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling

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Knock Knock No one answers....

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"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

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Why did a guy with schizophrenia does it take to walks into a bar.

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My mom.

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what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

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A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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how many gay men can you fit on a barstool 1

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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women's rights

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops