A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What iz stupid? Hibiyav

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

planking.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened? I have absolutely no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You throw nothing like your mother; she is actually really good at throwing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Star Wars

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops