What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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flip flop chop, clip clop cow, POW. hahahahahah. :).

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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Your mother

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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