What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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Knock knock! Who's there? This. This who? This joke.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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What is brown and sticky?

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops