What is 10 inches long and didnt get sucked on valentines day? Whitney Houston's crack pipe.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What's white and very boney? A bone

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

thumb_up thumb_down +56

what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

thumb_up thumb_down +52

My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

thumb_up thumb_down +48

I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

thumb_up thumb_down +42

The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down +40

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops