You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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A married man, just realizes that his wife is cheating on him while he's away. But just to make sure, he goes into a spy shop to look for a camera to look in on his wife while he's not there. so he goes up to the shop keeper and asks " do you have any video camera's that record in on any place in a house?" the shop keeper says no and the man walks out of the store.

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the boy say 2+2 was? 4

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i love antijokes

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There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

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123 Main street

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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I only like NY as a friend.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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Q. what has 2 legs and can't walk A. a paraplegic

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What's worse than dropping your icecream? Slavery

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I'm gay.

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What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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