What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

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Why did the Jew fall off a cliff? Someone pushed him

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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The same girl who got cancer for christmas had a birthday soon after, as a present She got kimo...but it failed

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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A day without sunshine is like night.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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Sometimes people get confused when sentences don't end the way they elephant.

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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