What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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minced oaths

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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