What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

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What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

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What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

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Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Q:What did the cat say to the dog? A: Meow

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Compton

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

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Why did the Jew pick a dollar off the ground? He dropped it.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dumb jokes, now shut up.

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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