What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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Microsoft Windows

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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What do you call a bird on the beach? A seagull.

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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suck my dick.

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Amputations.

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Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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