I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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What did the man say to the homeless child. Where's you parents?

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Chuck Norris. Alright come in.

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting thrown into the sun.

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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How come Michael Jackson can draw a perfect circle? He likes little BOYS.

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A kid walked into a bar, but was kicked out immediately as state law mandates you must be 21 to be withing 12 feet of an operable bar.

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What flys? A fly

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how do u get a nun pregnant? dress her up as an alter boy

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why was the baby crying? a rabit took her bottle and ate her frit snacks.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

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only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

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Timmy heard that Red Bull gives you wings. He drank one and waited. No wings. He drank another and waited. No wings. Timmy drank 3 cases of Red Bull trying to get wings. Timmy died. The end.

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Why did the leprechian meleste Justin Bieber? ..... He stole his lucky charms.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

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What do you call an angry black man? Angry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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