Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Teen pregnancy

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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Can I touch it?

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share personal information with a stranger.

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A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

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IF circles are squares and squares are purple and i dont know what im talking about does that make all potatoes orange?

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

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Your mom

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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