Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

a show horse jumps over a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it ERRMMMMM UAHHHHHHHH...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops