What did the fish say when he ran into a wall underwater? dam

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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knock knock. whos there?(haha ive never made my own joke before) Nick Nick who? Nick Saghir Oh, come in. Would you like some cookies?

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

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What flys? A fly

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Your doorbell is broken.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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They give psychiatric patients acting classes in order for them to express and as such heal themselves? Excuse me fucktard! A guy that has deluded himself into believing he is the 11.356th Napoleon does not require further acting classes!

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Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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Get in the van

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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What did the pig say after having sex? "Oink".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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a man walks into a bar, and gets mauled by a bear..... and gets a concussion

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

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I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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