Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

If a plane crashes on the border of America and Canada, where do you bury the survivors? Somewhere discreet where no one will find them

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

What did the skeleton say to the man? Nothing.

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

Women's rights.

What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

Roses are red violets are blue I have a pie would you like some?

Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

What do you call a horse, a cow, a pig, a sheep, a dog, a cat, and a mouse all walking in a straight line? Animals

A Jewish man overhears another man making a joke about the Holocaust. The Jew says, "Hey! You! My father died in the Holocaust!" The other man says, "Oh, I'm sorry. What camp was he in?" The Jew says, "Camp? No, my father had a heart attack."

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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