F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

German sausage is the wurst

How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, Knock. Who's there? ........Chicken...?

What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

How many arabs can fit in a 2007 honda accord? legally up to 5

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

what did the kid do after the rabbit told him trix are for kids? he beat him with a stick then ate some sushi.

Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

how do you teach a baby to walk? cut of its hands.

What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

OMG I NEED FRESH WATER

Yo mama's so poor she is on welfare.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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