Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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Obama is a good president.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

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A man walks into a bar. He meets this attractive female. They later go to his house to have sexual intercourse. However, the man forgot to use a condom. He finds out he got AIDS. He dies twenty years later from his sexually transmitted disease.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

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Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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1unno;njfjk

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't. Some of them are slow.

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops