Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

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friends are like potatoes. if you eat them, they die.

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A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

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What's red, black, and blue all over? A canvas with red, black, and blue paint.

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A boy walks into a baker, asks for a loaf of bread. The baker enquires "White or brown?" to which the boy replies "It doesn't matter, I've got my bike."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

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Why didn't the teacher ask where Billy's assignment was? Because Billy died last week. -B

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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whats worse than snakes on a plane? terrorists

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Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

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What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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Junior's love life.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

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Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

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A man walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken I don't see anything funny about this at all. -Tag

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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