Q: How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I heard this joke before but I can't remember

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Yo mama's so poor she is on welfare.

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Guess what? What? Nothing.

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

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Q:what do you call a black bunny with five eyes? A: i don't know I have never heard of such a thing

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Your Mother is so stupid that not only can she not peform basic mathematical sums, but she frequantly makes spelling errors

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Whats worse that stubbing your toe? Death.

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

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C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

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What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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Once upon a time, there was a pair of headphones. It loved the sound of music.

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Womens rights.

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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