Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Why did the Mexican cross the street? He didn't

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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A man walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken I don't see anything funny about this at all. -Tag

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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Knock knock *silence* Knock knock *silence* KNOCK KNOCK! Hey! Can't you read the sign?! It's says "Do Not Disturb!"

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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8============D PEN1S

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb. One.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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How do you stop a fridge from making contact with the ground? Cut its cable's ground pin.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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