Your moms so dumb she stuffed a battery up her butt and said i got the POWA!

Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

C'est l'histoire d'un français paumé qui se retrouve sur un site anglais.

Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

What did the boy Tell to his friends? Nothing. He has noone.

Knock knock! "Who's there?" "It's me, xx" "Okay, come in."

Why did the eighty year old man climb into a fridge? Because he wanted to.

A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

Roses are red, I want a gravestone, nobody loves me, forever alone

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

Knock knock Whos there? ... You got ding dong ditched

roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

yo mamas so ugly she turned madoosa into stone

Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

What do you call it when 1 person has an imaginary friend? A mental disorder. What do you call it when 1 billion people have an imaginary friend? A Religion.

What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

Yo mamma's so black, and that's ok. We're all different and unique.

there was a blond, a brunette, and a redhead at the edge of a cliff The blond being stupid jumped off the cliff and broke every bone in her body

What did the hot rod say to the other hot rod Its hot in here

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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