A boy eats 3 pounds of candy, 2 whole pizzas, and drinks 10 beers. Why did he puke? Someone came out of nowhere, and kicked him in the nuts

thumb_up thumb_down -6

4/20.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Every time you make fun of an Ethiopian child he dies a little on the inside.. But that's probably just from the hunger..

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Chuck Norris watches TV.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What begins with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Your neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So you're walking through the desert and the wheels fall off your canoe, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 13 because baseballs can't have babies

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Why did Hitler like his steak well done? Because like many people, he didn't like the sight of blood in his steaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I Love You Jordan! P.S. from someone you know

thumb_up thumb_down -65

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A man walks into a bra, he is an alcoholic and is destroying his family

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

so an american, a Hispanic, and a Indian walk into a bar in Washington D.C, and the bartender says to the american "I'm sorry, but u have to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was Jesus able to walk on water? Because he was the son of God and therefore devine, he can do whatever he pleases

thumb_up thumb_down +40

When is a door not a door? When its ajar.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than falling off your bike? Getting hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

whats cheese thats not yours? the one in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops