What did the working mother get her son for Christmas? Empty promises.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the gymnast fall off the beam? Got shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +1

so an american, a Hispanic, and a Indian walk into a bar in Washington D.C, and the bartender says to the american "I'm sorry, but u have to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

thumb_up thumb_down -189

What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There's a blonde, Brunette and a Redhead stuck at the top of a cliff. A genie appears and says he will grant them each one wish. The Brunette wishes she could at the bottom of the cliff, The redhead wishes she could be back with her children and the blonde would just love to be back to her family. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -94

What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a clown to stop smiling Kill him

thumb_up thumb_down +186

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a group of men terrible at their jobs? The Mets

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How can you tell which kids belong to Dolly Parton? From the strech marks on their lips :|

thumb_up thumb_down -104

-Knock knock. -Who's there? -Doctor. -Docter who? -Yes...

thumb_up thumb_down +63

whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Good for him. Thats wonderful!

thumb_up thumb_down -121

How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

thumb_up thumb_down +142

What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A priest, a rabbi and an imam walked into a bar and had a great time because all of them worship the same God. (Obs: The imam ordered only soft drinks)

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The NHL playoffs

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the guy with Alzheimer's say to his.... Wait, I forgot the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:What did the goat die? A: I dont know everything dies

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the chicken say to the farmer? nothing, chickens dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you know a chinese person has been in your house? #1 your homework is done #2 your computer is upgraded #3 when you get home there still pulling out of your driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops