How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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A llama walks into a pub. Actually, he didnt, because it is physically impossible for a llama to stand up and proceed to walk over 2.8 feet. That stat was a lie.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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sixty....eight.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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YOLO

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a mexican, an asian and a black are all in a car, who's the driver? their friend bill who offered to take them to the upcoming three days grace concert.

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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Blarg

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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Bill is at a bar with a couple of his college buddies. He notices another one of his friends, Jim, who has his back faced to him, and calls him. The man turns and it is not Jim. Bill apologizes and they carry on with their lives.

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Akshaytiger World

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What did Squidqard say to Spongebob? Shut up.

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Trust me im a doctor but this is pratice

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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