roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Once upon a time.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A domino dipped in kitten blood.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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It says so on your cap.

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? SOL.

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A man walks to a bar. He drinks too much and dies. His family is informed later that evening.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

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Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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8===========D O:

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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Why did the leprechian meleste Justin Bieber? ..... He stole his lucky charms.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 6 cheated on 7 with 9.. 6 is now a victim of domestic violence.

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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