Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

69

thumb_up thumb_down +36

knock knock go away ok

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

thumb_up thumb_down +34

whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops