Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

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why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

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Whats White and sticky? Semen

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Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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Small titties.

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What happened to the man that jumped off the cliff. He died....

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Justin Bieber

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guy walks into a bar a metal bar ouch

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

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How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

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i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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What do you call a black man driving a police car? Officer

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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