Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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Whats funny? Nick Sotelo

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Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

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Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

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Whats worse than a Worm in Your Apple? Being raped

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What do you call one lawyer shot dead in the street? Ghandi.

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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http://www.ladsta.com

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A grasshopper walks into into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you. But me telling you this is in no way productive because insects cannot understand human language."

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Q: What did the ugly duckling say to the other ducks? A: QUACK!

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Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a big fat bully!

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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