Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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what time is it rape time

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Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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Justin Bieber

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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whats worse than fining 7 dead babies in 1 trash can? finding 1 dead baby in 7 trashcans!

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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