whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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How did Danny break his bike? No one really knows. The best probable guess who be a tree fell on it, because Danny and his bike were found under a fallen tree.

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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