What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

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Q: What is worse than bitting in to an apple and finding a worm? A: Bitting in to a worm and finding an apple.

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me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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What's black, white, and red all over? A white man's bleeding cancerous tumor.

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Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

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Howmuch wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Anyone? I'm trying to settle a bet.

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What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Set a restriction on something she enjoys that is equal to the degree of her misbehavior.

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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