What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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What's fast and white ? A chicken after you hit it going 100mph

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What is an anti-joke? This is.

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Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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I only like NY as a friend.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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Asians

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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what is black and looks like a mushroom? a black mushroom

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What happened september 11th, 2001 It was my first time snorkoling in Hawaii

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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Q.What does chuck norris eat as breakfast? ans.FOOD

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A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

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What's the similarity between a dog and a car? They're both made out of atoms.

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Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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