Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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minced oaths

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

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knock knock your gay

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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Q:What are black people so good at basketball? A: Because they are black!

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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What's funny about being adopted? Your parents never loved you

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops