"Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock, Knock" "Who's there?" "The police. We're looking for three escaped inmates posing as bananas."

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Women's rights.

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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What do airplanes and grapes have in common? They both have wings, except a grape doesn't.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

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so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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