I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

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Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

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Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Your Mom

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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Q: What is the difference between a black man and a Park bench? A: A park bench is an inanimate object.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had the utmost desire to.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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