Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Amputations.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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-Knock Knock. -Come in.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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A man. That is all.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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