What do Jews, Jehovah's Witnesses, Slavs, Gays, and Retards have in common? The Holocaust.

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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Then what's your favorite team little white guy?

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Knock knock. Come in.

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What do you call a row of houses that are all different size? A poorly thought out construction project that has enraged townspeople.

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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A woman goes to the doctor.....She has terminal cancer.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Why did little Susie light herself on fire? Answer: She wanted to be warm

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face pa pa poker face!!!

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

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WTF BOOOOOM

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The WNBA

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69

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

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I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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