Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

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I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gregory Pelnick

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Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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What's one thing a black man can't have? White skin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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