Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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Fuck yourself you piece of shit.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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12 22 giraffe hippo 66 otter zebra cat 99 okay, the end

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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69

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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