I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -90

What's white and very boney? A bone

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A penguin was waddling along one day and saw a seal.. The seal stood up and procceded to talk and jump and even twirled around... The penguin realized this was impossible for a seal to be doing this so he hopped on his unicycle and just rode home because he was going to be late for his piano recital

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did you say? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was johny late to school? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

h

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

cms.......?????

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops