Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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The Holocaust

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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What's another name for a black priest? An African American Priest.

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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Who broke into the village's homes and smashed all of the vases? Link did.

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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oh hiya come in

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops