You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

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A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

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Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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Pavel Novak

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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A man farted. Another man walked away.

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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Women's Rights

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Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

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Knock, Knock Who's There. You. You who. You are you. WTF!

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I just found out that you can dislike or like something by clicking the thumbs up or down

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Penis

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How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a truck

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

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JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

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I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

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What is a dinosaurs favorite chips? Doritos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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